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Tuesday, 28 July 2009

  • So my parents own a lake house... ish, about four hours way from home. I say ish because it's back in the woods a little from the lake, but still close by... anyway, I got the thinking of how nice it would be if me and some friends went up there on our own.

    Well, I asked my dad, and after a little.... nudging, he's finally letting us go... But I just to my self, it'll be me, an ex-girlfriend/girl I want to date(again) and my two friends who've been dating for three years... for a week... in a rather remote location... this could be very interesting...

    Can't wait, i'm going in two, wait three... idk a couple of weeks

Monday, 27 July 2009

  • Storms

    okay, so I know it's been a while since I've posted, i've just been really scatter-brained and haven't had a long enough coherent thought to write about...

    Anyway, yesterday there was a rather aggressive thunderstorm in my area, and it cause all kinds of havoc. I was at work (Target still) when it hit, and it knocked the power out. I work up on the lanes, and when the power went out, it went black, you couldn't see anything... till the backup generators kicked on a couple of seconds later. So then we're rushing to get everyone out of the store... on 20% power, so very few registers. SO loads of fun.

    So I finally get go home a while later, the storm is already gone, so i'm diving home, i see branches everywhere, only one really blocking the road thankfully. I get home and my dad tells me to look out back. Now my house is a two story one, and we have a tree next to it that is taller than the house, and almost as wide as it is tall. I look out the back window and half the tree is laying acroos the back of the yard... it got hit by lightning and split, and the half that faced away from the house feel, had it been the other half, my room, as well as a lot of the house would be gone.  But besides the tree and two crappy chairs, nothing was actually damaged... we got really lucky.

Sunday, 28 June 2009

  • confession

    so i live life with a mask, rarely showing what's underneath. A mask thicker than I ever wanted. All my emotions are an act to make it seem like i'm a real person. My ture emotion never truely showing. Although, as a vent, I usually end up writing my true thoughts. So I'm curious to see what you all think of my newest entry. I realize it isn't the best english ever, but that was not the point when i wrote it.

    As I sit here, in this empty house, I am reminded of something. I am reminded of how alone I am. I suffer through everything on my own. All my thoughts, my feeling, my pain and suffering. All my own. No one else was there, no one else helped me. I learned to be strong, so very strong. But I also became weak. I can take any kind of pain you can throw at me now, I’m impervious to it. But I lack the ability to be around people. It’s not from a lack of feelings. There are people that I love, people I’d die for. People I’d stand in the line of fire for, because I can take it. Yet I don’t know how to tell them this. I don’t know how to tell them anything important.

    Sometimes I feel like I might be making progress. But then something will happen and I feel myself fall further in the hole. I’m lost, and I can’t ask for help.



Friday, 26 June 2009

  • Okay, so I know it's been quite a while since I have updated. I'm sorry, life just got really busy.

    Basically what happened was I got in a car crash. I had just spent all day out with a friend, and we were coming home. The roads were wet, and I was kind of tired. We were on the highway, coming up to my off ramp. To my immediate right there is a tracker trailer. Well, I realized I'm in the wrong lane and need to be where that is. So I try slowing down to go behind the thing, but the damn thing matches my my speed. And I'm very close to the exit now.

    Before I get to the next part I should try and explain a few things, one yes I am a bit of a speed demon. But normally I have better than decent reflexes and great control of my car. Normally. Also my friend, is an ex-girlfriend. And on the way up we had a conversation about he4 breaking up with her current boyfriend, and me thinking I want to get back together. Long interesting story I'll save for another entry.

    So anyway, I floor it, trying to get in front of the truck before the exit. I make it just fine. But I was focused to my right more as I did this. So once I was in the lane, about to turn of on the exit (which is a high speed on-ramp for a bit more highway) I center my attention in enough time to catch a truck in my peripheral flying in the direction of my car. I drive a larger car, but this was a heavy duty pick up truck.

    So I swerve to avoid him, my guess, he realized he wanted that exit and tried to catch it at the last second. So I'm flying into the next lane, which was thankfully clear, I try to correct the car by throwing it left, down the road. But as it goes left, it hydroplanes, it keeps spinning, putting me backwards. I slide into the grass, bouncing off the guardrail a little. Not done sliding yet, I slide into and a little past a light pole.

    I hit it just hard enough for it to FALL over. Across the road. Two more run over it, another runs over it, a fourth hits that one, a fifth hits the fourth.

    I'll speed up the rest, I spent 2 hours in one spot basically. Oh and after the fire truck got there, not sure why it was there, but whatever, a car slide off the road dodging that. The cop standing there was just like "You have got to be kidding me."

    So I got a fine for hitting the pole, the other cars weren't written up to be my fault. And I have had to pay for the damages to my car, cause I can only afford liability.

Tuesday, 02 June 2009

  • Currently
    Torn
    By Evergrey
    Numb
    see related

    Wow

    Okay, so today was a long day, but it gave me a chance to remember things. And one of them i felt was... worth sharing.

    About a year and a half  ago, me and this girl had some issues. She told me she liked me, I was chasing someone else. The other girl came and went, and I realized I should have went with the girl who told me she liked me. Her name is Liz by the way. So school's out, first thursday afterward. We're at an open mike night at a local coffee shop. I tell her i like her, she tells me she still does, (kind of figured that, the past month had been awkward flirting). So we start dating, couple months later, we getting serious, I love her, she loves me. This is probably going to sound... off but whatever, we were at the point where we would be having sex, except that she wouldn't again till... idk, and i don't think she knew either.

    So at some point in that period I'm talking to my friend, (now i should mention that so far i haven't very open about our relationship, just not flashy about it), and i mention that i was dating liz, and she proceedes to argue that liz is dating a guy named troy. we argue for a while, i give up. I talk to liz a while later and ask, she says  that on the same night i did troy asked her out too, and she said yes to both of us... and she has been dating both of us since then...

    I was fuurious, and extremly hurt, but i still loved her, so the next month we argued. Everything from telling Troy about me and her, to her picking one of us so the other could move on.

    She picked him

    So we offically broke up

    Next week I'm over her house, cause we made a promise to stay good friends

    We spent most of the time making out

    then she goeds off to college, I'm still in high school

    we try to stay in touch, she promises to try that is. Two months after not hearing from her, i text her, asking how she is, after another brief argument, she told me that the past weekend she fucked troy.

    Damn

    Another couple months, she says it's too awkward to talk to me, and promises to write a letter explaining. next month i finally get it, it's crap, and the last line in french read "you were always my firstt love"

    Now here's the real kicker/the punch line, me and troy are good friends from way back, and still are to this day. And I still  don't think he has the slightest clue.

    I feel like an idiot now for  how i handled it all, but the past is the past right?

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werewolfofdolle

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